Never Say Never....

When I was writing Prince of Yen I was never going to write an epic battle scene. I was Never going to write adult fiction. I was Never going to write anything but fairytales. I was certainly Never going to write non-fiction.

I had my box, I liked my box, and I was never going to leave it. But the Ideas outside of the box broke down my barriers and restrictions and crept in simply to spite me. I had dreams that begged to be stories. I wrote fantasy that got increasingly darker. Magic, sorcery, mind control, murder, blood even, the list went on until I shuddered at my ability to write what I'd sworn never to write and switched to science fiction, abruptly breaking another Never.

I've Never liked superheroes. I always thought they were too perfect, too corny, too outdated, and too completely unrealistic. I hated Supervillains even more. The entire genre was the last thing on earth I thought I would find myself writing.... until two weeks ago. Now I have a telepathic tinkering genius teenager who's really an alien prince fighting a revolution. While trapped on earth he is unaware of his true identity and spends his time building gadgets, wearing capes, and saving people from imminent disaster like any true Superhero would. His weakness is his dreams and his enemies are people of his own race, come from his home planet to find him.

I've Never written fan fiction. I prefer to create my own characters. I couldn't fathom working with anyone else's. See this account here? A Teaspoon and an Open Mind.Yup, that's me. Writing fan fiction.

I was also Never going to waste time on a TV show. Guess what above fanfics are about?

As for Never writing non-fiction... well, look around. I write it twice a week, and I like it. All I can conclude is that I'll Never say I'll Never write something again because the minute I do it seems it comes back laugh at me when I find the words I would Never write flowing out of my pen.

What are your Nevers and how have they overcome you?

Becoming the Doctor

I just got back from an audition today; a Disney audition. I had to be prodded into going, which isn't usual for me. But armed with a monologue from Doctor Who, and Doctor Who audio books to listen too, I drove myself three hours and got through the biggest audition I've ever attended. And every time I felt myself drifting off into the land of exhaustion, boredom, or pessimism I snapped myself back with a persona not quite my own, how would the Doctor react?

Why am I so obsessed with this character that I've started trying to copy him in daily life? Well, he's funny, friendly, happy, outgoing, inspiring, cheerful, intelligent, and generally fun to be around. These are all traits everyone should try to emulate, regardless of where they get inspiration from to do so. We tend to get wrapped up in our own little world, consumed by worry, doubt, and fear.We don't see outside our own little circle to the amazing universe and incredible people beyond. But the Doctor does. So here is your handy list to start you on your way to becoming the Doctor.

1. Smile. A lot. And then smile some more on top of that. Practice your smile, don't let it get rusty and out of shape. Smile at everyone, even if they don't smile back. Especially if they don't smile back. If someone gets annoyed at your smiling, smile bigger.

2. Talk. Whenever you find yourself next to someone, start a conversation. This includes people at the gas station, on the bus next to you, in an audition hall, or in line at the supermarket. Start a conversation by introducing yourself. This helps them to feel like you're not a random stranger, and indicates that you're interested in a real relationship, rather than just making a random comment and moving on.

3. Make eye contact. Guess what? People aren't robots, or cars, or vegetables. Each one is an individual. See them as that, rather than rushing past, trying hard to be invisible. Greet everyone as an individual as much as possible. When you're walking down the street or the grocery aisle make eye contact, smile and nod, as though greeting an old friend. Your smile is wasted if no one sees it.

4. Be helpful. Did someone drop their bag four aisles down from you? Be the first one there to help pick it up! When a child is lost and crying, don't rush past, stop and help. Do you notice trouble going on? Don't stand back like a curious spectator; see if there is something you can do to help sort it out.

5. Don't be afraid to stick out. Dressing different is a good start to a conversation. Wear a funny hat, or a cool shirt, or a crazy scarf. Be original, and exciting and different. But don't be weird for the sake of weirdness, just do it because it's meant to be for you. Not everyone is cut from the same cloth... or wears the same color shoes. Don't think you have to because everyone else does, but don't think you shouldn't just because no one does either!

6. Listen. Talking is good, listening is better. Be outgoing, but be respectful. Notice when something is wrong, and know when to shut up. This takes practice, but it's well worth is. Observe your surroundings, rather than isolating yourself in by hiding behind a book or with earbuds. It is by listening and observing that you can learn how to be the most helpful. Study the people around you, so you can reach out to them effectively.

7. Be bold. Don't be afraid. Don't shrink back because of what people will say about you. Don't be afraid to stick out. Be honest. Admit when you've made a mistake, even to yourself. But forgive yourself for your mistakes and risk trying again. This is the hardest part, not slinking off ashamed the first time someone glares at you, or mocks you for being so atypical. Remember, they're just people. Pick yourself up, put on your biggest, brightest grin, and carry on. Never give up. Never declare it useless.

"When you run with the Doctor, it feels like it'll never end. But however hard you try you can't run forever. Everybody knows that everybody dies and nobody knows it like the Doctor. But I do think that all the skies of all the worlds might just turn dark if he ever, for one moment, accepts it."

I Am the Doctor

Photo by Nathan Greenwood

Last month I went to the county fair along with some of my brothers and sisters. In less than an hour I was wondering why I had come. I'd already been on all of the sane rides twice, and managed to get tricked onto one of the insane rides and was sorely wishing I had just stayed at home and read a good book instead. I don't like the rides that people go on for thrills and this being the country fair and all the thoughts that run through my mind are all the people that would die if the thing broke, and the likelihood of it breaking, and the fact that if the maintainers are anything like the ride operators I wouldn't want to trust my life to their hands... The only thing that kept me sane on one particular trip was the thought that there was no way I had lived this long only to die on a malfunctioning ride at the county fair. If I was going to die young it would be in a car accident or something else normal, not in a freakish accident at the hands of a stupid operator.

I had wanted to go though, and my siblings had bought my ticket for me, so I had to enjoy myself somehow. We got there at about 6:00 and the fair didn't close until 10:00 and I was at my wits end what to do. I rambled at my sister, who was in the unusual position of being forced to listen to me ramble while we were standing in line for one of my favorite rides. (It didn't leave the ground.) I explained which rides I liked and why I liked them and I analyzed my reasons for liking them and came up with the following premise:

I like kid rides. I like rides that you go on with a kid and you wave your arms about and scream and get them to stare at you and ask why you're screaming. I like making up stories about the adventures that the rides represent and having a kid to tell those stories too. I like having someone to make a fool of myself too. I wasn't having any fun that day because it was the older kid's night out and there was no child for me to interact with.

"You could always come with me."

Like taking the Doctor and sticking him in a room full of stuffy Time Lords.

"We have the privilege of viewing all of time and space." We have the privilege of the freedom of the world. We have the authority, the cars, and the money to buy tickets and go to the fair. We're adults; we're mature, responsible, and stuck with the dull drudgery of running the world. We envy the children we once were running carefree with their games. They envy us our lack of school, the freedom that they see our lives. By sharing our lives with theirs we can recapture the innocence of childhood and teach them the responsibilities of adults. Only in the presence of a child can I stop behaving as an adult.

"I can't see it anymore. You make all of time and space your backyard, and that's what you have. A backyard.  But you... you can see it. And when you see it, I see it."

In front of us in line two eager excited girls were informed that they couldn't go on the ride without an adult. They ran over to their mom, but she wasn't interested in riding and told them they'd have to find another one to go on. I stepped out of line and told the mom that if it was all right with her they could ride with me. I was an adult; and for one shining moment I was the Doctor.

I could fix things, I could help children. I can enjoy the universe by showing it to others, as I enjoyed myself on that ride with two strangers. My brother and his friends were "too cool" to hang out with me, but I didn't mind them any more. I didn't get another Doctor moment that night, but I kept my eyes open.

The Doctor isn't just a character from a British TV show. He's a concept and an ideal. He's the child inside every one of us begging to be expressed, and that's why so many people associate themselves with him. You can be the Doctor and share the glorious parts of life with every one of your companions.